People just don’t understand. they won’t.

12Sep09

People just don’t understand. they won’t understand. and they don’t even wanna understand. or yeah maybe there’s a time when they do, but that time is kinda unfriendly with mine.

i have been thinking, since i’ve decided to leave him, that i had to be losing a part of my life. and i did realize that it would not work that easy. i have lost a part of my life. a part of my life means that a half time of my life was our quality time, and the other parts were another essential parts’s. i just miss those times, when we let ourselves into each other’s life

we have many things in common. he liked silverchair as much as i do. and when i started to listen to silverchair again a week ago, i felt like talking with him like we used to do. the saddest part was, he is no longer on my side. he is in another place that i don’t even know where it is. whether he’s home or somewhere else. and then this thought just come out, the hardest part to get over him is, no one likes silverchair as much as we do. we used to sing along together with his guitar, and that time was so sweet. that time remains the same, even his skin smells the same. still same.

either time reveals, or heals or changes everything, those are just to define that time’s suck. i wish i could kill the time. i wish i could rule the time. and i wish he felt the same thing just what i do now.

people just don’t understand. no one can accept my flaws and all, but him. he loved my pimples(he didn’t tell that he loved them but he never told me that the pimples made me look weird or old and faded! he did never) he even used to bite my cheek, even if there were pimples around it. he did! he kept kissing my neck even it was full of sweat! (but he might have tasted it salty! LOL) he didn’t ask me to go to see the dermatologist to heal my pimples. he gave me morning kiss. he let my head around his arm on bed when we were sleeping(of course when i stayed over at his house). when i turned to this question ” Are you weary ? ” he would have said ” Not at all, dear ” with the smile on his face.

people won’t understand, how it feels when he is in my thoughts. he sang me serenade to sleep (he even tried hard to write a serenade for taking me to sleep), he stroke me by the hair for taking me to sleep, he used to say ” nitey nite ” before he got to sleep, and when i turned to not answer him, he would have said ” answer please.. ” so i took the answer ” Good night.. ” and then he would have kissed me tender on my lips.

people don’t wanna understand when i feel like going crazy to think of him. people don’t understand when i feel like getting cranky for missing him. and people won’t understand why it’s so hard to get over him. between us it was too deep. too deep.

P.S : would he ever feel the vibe if i shouted his name when the distance that only matters ? ;(

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