Broken Arrow

30Jul09

broken_arrow_5986

i might be wrong. i might be making mistakes. i might have been fooled around, i might be blind. and i might have been being such a fool for all these years, but i’m not gonna be that person anymore this time.

this heart is just like a broken arrow. it was fragile before, now it’s broken. i’m not gonna call it as a broken heart. i’m not. because if i do call it as a broken heart, i will be called as a lame person in the same time or i will call my self as it is ( because my friends say that it’s a normal for having a broken heart ). well i just wanna convince my self that i know that i am strong. i am brave enough to see the truth that the past could have been so bad, but in this present time and also for the next after all could be not. of course if i do it right. and yeah just like john legend says ” Love hurts sometimes when you do it right.. “ . and why something could be hurt and wrong when you do it right ? what kinda life is this ? why everything happens upside down in life ? no more time to figure this one out. it just waste of time.

i am feeling so empty. hollow. disoriented when i found my self that i have been betrayed. by my own best friend! (actually she used to be my best friend, which means she’s no longer happens to be one ). i just wonder, literally, what was on her mind when she happened to cheat with her best friend’s boyfriend ? which she actually knew that i was so into him, she knew everything between us, she knew how this asshole treated me, that she fucking knew what we have done and through together. i believed in her. i did. and i believed in him for not cheating with her (again). what was on their mind when they were backstabbing me ? what was on their mind when they were cheating behind me ? it just out of my mind, what was on their mind ? i really have no idea.

i leave him. this is for the last time. not gonna forgive him. never.

i leave her. this is for the last time. not gonna forgive her. never.

well i have never said it before to anyone, no one. this is my first time. so i guess, i wish you guys the best. i wish you happiness. i wish you could feel what i feel. and i wish you luck!

let’s supposed like we never knew each other. let’s say that i am a stranger for you, assholes. ( thank’s god i’m not one of these assholes ).

i dump facebook. just like what Bill Gates does. too many friends as Bill Gates says, it can be my reason too to dump facebook, but to avoid these assholes to ruin my life and yet for me to stalk one of them, is quite relevant and concreate idea and reason. i’m not gonna let them to bug my life for the several times. for godsake! there must be so many possibilities for them to ruin my life again. to break the arrow again. and i’m not gonna be this such a fool anymore, because i’m not! i know it’s kinda childish, it’s kinda a desperate measure. however, i don’t give a damn. this is heart speaking. if they have a right to be happy by hurting me, then i have a right to deserve hapiness by leaving them for those who hurts me.

it’s time to regroup. to recover. to heal. to grow. to step forward. to move on. without them.

the broken arrow could not be fixed. but i could have the better one at least, even more. i don’t need the new one, i just need the better one 🙂

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